Well... I guess ~_________________~ Jealous, diartikan ke bahasa Indonesia adalah cemburu atau iri... definisi cemburu menurut KBBI sendiri adalah :
1. merasa tidak atau kurang senang melihat orang lain beruntung dsb
2. kurang percaya; curiga (krn iri hati)

Yeap...Long time... ==" jealous yang paling parah, waktu sama mantan terakir.. Based on sebenernya juga nggak jealous2 amat, cuman pengen memperlakukan dia sebagaimana dia memperlakukan gw.. As simple as that~... I'm not a dictator type, because for sure, I don't like being under someone's control, being free is a must for me.. in any condition. Jealous... maybe for other's happiness, regret for myself, why can't I be like them?? Eventho, people usually said we may not be jealous for other's happiness.

Jealous... for looking at other smile, feel no worry at all, seems very easy life..A little part of other's life that I see, only in the bright side... It is not good at all, and I was really know about it, sometimes I feel jealous to others, without realize there's something inside myself that people can be jealous to. ~_______________~ human will never be satisfied, right?

*take a deep breath*

There's funny things about yesterday... Based on my dialog (yang notabene ga penting) with Yola~... about, do you think that I'm cute, whenever you see me for the first time? ==" oke, voting untuk membuktikan... jadi she asked ke Pak Tuki~... disana ad retarded yang gw cuekin, pura2 gak liat... lagi sok sibuk gitu ngobrol am sapa..Abis ditanyain gitu, blon sempet dijawab ama Pak Tuki, the he said ," Cute.." Oke... menyebabkan apa, you know lah~ but, honestly, bisa2nya gw cuek serasa dapet persetujuan ,"Emang cute kaaan? Gak percaya seh!" Gosh! ==" bisa gitu yah gw secepat itu sensi banget. .. bukan sensi juga, tapi lebih ke... ==" okay peole changes... Abis ngomong gitu, he add some words ,"You'll be always in my heart..." Nananananaana bener2 gw... cuman bilang ,"Iyak, judul lagu... Phil Collins gituuu..." ~_______~ dari kadar, keknya gw bisa dibilang nyolot high class itu... I mean.. sebenernya gw ga maksud gitu, just there's something speaking inside.. ==" bingung? Gw juga tentunya.. @________@ kali kedua gw nyolot setelah kelas 1 dulu... and I mean, keknya ga ada yang salah dengan kata2 gw tu, ga nyesel pula.. ~ Cuek lah yaw~... I take it as.. TIME PASSED BY...

Then after go home.. ~__________________~ well, doing for my calendar... and many other more, I just thinking again like this. Okay, I should never thinking about other's bussiness, daripada membawa gw ke jurang dosa.. mending gw cuman.. ~_________~ iya iya.. he eh... then kalo ga, yang ada jadi gimanaaaa gitu..==" sometimes, I feel that I have two sides of heart... Sekalinya gw lagi nyolot, bener2 dah nggak karuan... mo ada yang terjun dari atap kek, mo apa juga... =="I don't care, it's kind of your bussiness and not mine. Sekalinya gw lagi ga tegaan jadi orang, kebanyakan mikir.. kasian yah si A, B, C.. then jadi extreme, ngebantuinnya seakan2, sebenernya gw ga perlu ngurus orang sampe sejauh itu, apapun alasannya... see?

Jealous ya... yap... I even never realize by myself,when it comes, then I just say to myself,"Again.." it's not fun, it was really tiring for sure, but I can't stop it whenever it appears, sesuatu yang kadang lepas kontrol. Dan biasanya gw tipe yang mendem banget soal RASA TIDAK ENAK kepada orang laen... except itu ke orang yang ga deket2 amat sama gw.. Tapi ke beberapa orang yang deket sama gw, ==" I mean, jahat banget gw marah2 or complain cuman gara2 hal sepele.. jadi gw cuman bisa mikir, yah let it flow aja.. toh mungkin aja gw sendiri ada kek gitu sama mereka.. karena yang ada bikin suasana jadi ga comfort.. broken glass will never be the same... Kalo gw kesel, ya gw tahan, gw marah, gw tahan deh (drpd out of control kek waktu dulu)... kadang hepi pun gw tahan kalo tmen lagi sedih... jealous, ==" dulu gw pernah sampe ngilu banget hati, gara2 orangnya pamer ga kurang BAGUS lagi di depan gw, seakan2 ga pernah tau tu orang... ==" okay, enough of that.. gw cuman mikir, iya lah dia kan emang orangnya gitu... =_____= finish, gamao memperpanjang masalah. Tapi sometimes I mean, whenever people said I must be honest, masa gw harus nunjukkin sih keselnya gw sama dia? Dan sederetan bla3 nya??? ~_____________~ well, I really never wanna hurt anyone's feelings. It was hard to be cured.. susah banget untuk disembuhkan dibanding gw mukul anaknya.. ==" Back in the same point... sometimes... gw emang teralu banyak menyimpan sesuatu yang harusnya bisa dishare sama orang.. Seakan2 ga ada tmen yang mao dishare, padahal sebenernya bukan... ==" I am the one who never wanna hurt others..

Jealous yah.... ~____________~ tutup mata dan telinga rapat2... then wish never feel like that again! Hahahahahah RIDICULOUS~ penyelesaian masalah yang mustahil ya..?? But.. it is the one I feel. Kadang gw berpikir terlalu picik. Gw terlalu mikir, gw cepet dilupain orang, dianggap ga penting, dicari kalo lagi butuh, but in fact they love me more than that, they care for me more than I think... sometimes, it must not be shown in front of me right? I may have a little time to think again about that.. Mungkin sebenernya, mereka nggak separah yang gw pikir... mereka sayang banget sama gw.. peduli, mikirin gw, eventho I'm not doing the same to them... and now should I said like that? Things that makes me jealous .. in fact isn't things that I see in my own... it just appears in my mind, only in my mind... when it appears, I forgot to remember about them... how they always remembering me? Take care of me ?? Iya... mungkin sebaiknya begitu... gw ga bisa terlalu cepet menjudge seseorang karena ini.. holding again.. Jealous.