Okay...In the middle of our journey, sometimes, we will face some crossroad. And we are really need to choose, the best way that we can handle it, and we should never regret for the way we had taken...

I should know about this from a long time ago... But, I dunno why I always regret about my own decision. Okay, I know it is not easy... Sigh~ But.. I'm just still thinking about it. I feel that it hasn't clear by saying nothing, I feel meaningless hiding this secret.. T__________T But I dunno when should I say about it?? I plan to say when I finished my final exam... Really, I need lot of effort for doing this things again after around 3 years ago I do the same.

Again.. asking for my own heart... ~__________~

Crossroad of many things... Siblings... Eventho sometimes I feel never get closer with my brothers, but I really enjoyed our time together, when we played since we're kids, when we fight each other.. til now. I almost twenty ~__________~ and, I guess I can't said that I will stay in teenager forever, right??? Time goes so fast...Even it was likely an old story about sibling in the childhood, but I feel that I never want to let them go even we will grow up and be an adult, then live at our own path...

Crossroad also appear when i need to take any decision... What did I do is totally different with what did I say or what did I think... Sometimes I regret I didn't listen to other's advice and in other case, regret for following other's advice and not mine...Kadang gw bingung, gw jadi kaya orang yang ga konsisten sama sekali. Waktu awal bertekad bulat... mo A... tau2 abis dijalanin, disuruh B, berhubung B enak, dan keknya menjalani A udah ga asik lagi buat gw, yaudah gw pindah haluan ke B... and really, most of it, biasanya selalu FIT nya ke arah yang lebih ngeflow daripada gw stubborn sendiri mertahanin apa yang gw mao.. dan gw pikir baik... ==" Guess what, jangan2 gw emang hobi yah nahan2 kebahagiaan sendiri?

~_____________~ people usualy say...
"Jujur itu kan tinggal ngomong... masalahnya selesai...plong"

I admit it is right... but about consequences, ~________~ about risk, cause, it is the THING I REALLY HARD TO ACCEPT in any condition. Play safe~..Eventhough sometimes looks bored, maybe I should go from my comfort area, and challenge myself to a something new.... Maybe?? I'm thinking again about my last decision, and don't wanna regret again about this...Taking the risk, do the things, and WON!!! (gila gw mo ikutan olimpiade lari apa!)

Sigh~....

Crossroad again, when I can't depend on others for taking decision. I must be independent to decide which one is the best and fit me for that case... =____= people won't be around me all the time, and I can't depend on others suggestion for decide something right??? That's why, I feel it's better to play safe...Crossroads too.. about this home.. ~_____~ things I don't wanna lose.. it's the place where I come home everyday, I stay there, whenever the rain fall down, and whenever the sun rise so strong.. ~ Again, for any reason, I really don't wanna lose again, it's not a small thng again such a relationship that I always lose for... I'd been together here for years since I was born... I can't let it happen.. but when someone ask, what can I do?? I can't answer that...

There's no one wanna chose the hard option... no one wanna lose something important in their life.. But when the time has came... Whenever we are ready or not, we must face it... must.. I know it's really a hard choice for me to keep stay or no.. It's really hard... since I feel this house feels very cold, bitter, and less of love.... Eventho it is not in a good condition as past... but I really don't wanna lose this things... I feel each day is getting harder for me... even for breathing, for open my eyes, just for know... I'm still alive... Facing for my giants today, and other days.

Since I'd lost many things in my life... Friends, love, feelings... and I will never wanna lose the last one....I need to calm myself, or I will never calm with this.. I really dunno too... I'm really confused... I'm totally out... TT___________________TT