School has begun..And After received shocked news about the next try out will be held for two weeks again, many tasks in the beginning especially the Civil.. TT____________TT how cruel, presentation, paper, and also must learn one chapter for next week meeting.

Today... yeah just like yesterday. When I can't or maybe I didn't want to see his face in front of me. And then just passed away without talking other words. Today, for again, talking together doesn't make me feel better, make me happy just like before... I feel deep painful that he just reply 'the one's word..Then said the same thing, said I don't know just to playing around, teasing, or maybe just talk without think... But really, I'm sad.. really sad..I know for sure, he loves another more.. more. Maybe I won't be even just a little.

... I'd promised myself then. The probability has changed to 0.. then it's time for me to stop. I just don't wanna cry again, sick again..Whatever he said, I never want to believe again.. never... it was painful..Really.. I know.. But really, it's hard. Maybe after graduation I should forget about my wishes, it's just only simply talk that just go out from his mouth for few seconds then disappear by time..

Everyday.. I smile whenever my friends were joking at me, and when we laughed together, I really feel wanna cry making that fake smile everyday..

When I want to eat, I feel no hungry at all, so that I became like this right now...

When I want to forget, I feel sick even I know that he will never accept me whatever the reason, because if I was compared with his girl, maybe I'm nothing at all...

Years that they had been together, and I'd just arrived. Should I said nonsense?

Eventhough in today's worship.. I heard that the evangelist said there's nothing impossible for God, God will overwhelm everything that make you worry, scared,etc.. I am not saying that I didn't believe, but what should I say if it is not His plan? Should He grant my wishes? Of course NO!!

And thinking about this, everyday, passed by..I really feel more sick at all..