I can't cry anymore, or laugh again too...

Even I don't feel hungry, sick, sleepy, and many again. Must I do the same thing ?


Many person can't realize, or maybe don't want to realize...

Sigh~ Looks like life is a simple game, that just can't be saved or ended by yourself..Life is as easy as your mind thinking about... Even in fact, it was not as simple as they think...

I have no idea actually for writing things again. I still have many tasks to do.. Still have to learn... for my test, print out my paper, edit my essay, and do so many things in my list of school works. But just like days before, it just the same...

I dunno, actually I'm happy to hear things like that... But I still can't believe in myself.. Really..It turns into some feelings. But I'd promised not to regret... But it was not a regret... Sigh~ Maybe disappointed? For the ... I don't know again exactly how many times... Sigh~ My head is getting dizzy again, and again...

I don't take my dinner today. Yeah... Feels better when I can feel the real one. Not just a silly things to do, beside this. I just hate people that always done things that really different with what they had already said.. I hate people that can judge someone from one side. And I hate the person that can't appreciate...


Can't handle myself, my own life, my own future. Hard for me to tell. Hard for me to be honest, and also hard for me to facing the real. Morning that shows many scares.. Night that usually offers loneliness... Rain that always fall down hide sound of pain and hurts... That will never cure deep inside this. ...Will not realize... and can't realize... People that who will never changed, and will not hear too, this sound will not reach. As a little toy, I was really a toy.. nice things to spent in spare time...

I'd held this for a very long time. That I should not hold on right now. I'm still seventeen...Sometimes I just think, let me engaged with someone then I'll be married soon. So that I will not make my parent suffer further more. College, my daily utilities, and many things again. I was really live from that thorn, that sick, that pain...However I want to run from, in fact I live from that way, I'm growing up in this condition, and it such as a destiny that I can't refuse...


No one understand... no one ever see... I'm lost.. alone. That God may don't want to find me back. Really... If I was crying today... does the sound reach the roof of the heaven?