It was really a tiring day as usual... =)

Today, even though I feel very sad, but I feel really happy too. that I'd known thing that I want to know. And even it was hurting like what I'd just thought about...

In different kind of times, I just always be the spare... spare place when feel sad, spare place when have problems with their own, spare... Just a spare things, that will be used when needed..

I never regret as I'd said before.. I'm not regret myself for choosing this way. I'm facing a different life that he may not thought along his life time maybe.. I know that so many people underestimating someone's life... And I know how hard if someone has struggle and fail..Struggle for surviving in their own life, struggle ... for along this time, just alone... without no one looking at me...

I really can't accept for he was saying that I'm weak... Really that you have never imagined what kind of life that I'd stepped on, and I can survive, even just continue my breath until today... Sometimes I feels that I want ... fly between just like the rain in the outside. Just like they are vanishing... and there were no one realize...

I'm happy to know the truth, I'm not being hurt because of being the spare one, but I'm hurt for being underestimated for someone that never know me... Really, I'm happy that today I can know the real truth, I'm happy... And I will not regret anything... Thanks... I love you, friends. Love you very much...

Sigh~ I'm getting dizzy again... Alone again in the rain... Just like my daily routine, passing days my days, months by months, January will be over soon.