I dunno, actually after this good news I feel very glas.. But actually, deep inside my heart I feel really sad.

A little story about today...

I'm very tired after doing so many test for today, and my head was full with so many things... T_T then Geography was switched with Economy... T_________T This makes me sad too.. And I have no idea why...Then I was told to write on the board about this things, etc.. --" I must not forget to bring copy of my SKHUN, STTB, etc. Then I after that, when I want to talks somethings with my friends, and my teacher, really my teacher can make me suffer more headache, ==" Really, I dunno how can be he said things like that.... Enough I think...

Preparing Valentine sometimes I think there's something missing this year. I dunno what. But I'd known what is the things that exactly I want to know.. Never be mine... And will not be. I don't want to tell anyone about this. And also there's no one will know... how I spent times at night, how I hold this things alone til now. I feel just like there's nothing I will get from all of things that I'd done. I realize that I can't, for any reason, reall yI can't.. Just daydreaming around til now... And I know that I'll suffer the same pain right now. But feels of the pain never changed, still hurts so deep... I think someday I want to cry.

If I'd realized but why I never changed? Why I never do something?... Looks like it's hard for me to forget. It's hard to me for know the truth. T_________T this days really like killing me... I'm not special. Just an ordinary, just like others... And I know maybe they have invisible bond that will never separate them into two again.I don't know how can I feel about this...But looks like, I just feel like that, and lately. It's true... In my sight, looks like it is a truth that I already tried to run from.

I feel really many disaster..When I and my friends were discussing planning of many things for Valentine days. Making some sweet chocolates, and we're planning to making some strawberry cakes... Yeah.. They were not as sweet as love that I feel along this time... Yeah... I don't know too.. How can I face this again... Looks like I don't have to do further more. There's no use.. And I just wanna forget this. But why feels so bitter? So hurt? T__________T I don't know again. Things are getting worse right now. And I have no idea again o facing my future. Looks like it has been yanked, all... without anything left..Then there's me...

T____________T I really have no idea to continue my life. I dunno. Everythings looks strange, blurred, and I may not shocked.. I still have no exact words to describe this... Really. But deep inside, more than when I was broken up with him... I had never suffer like this again. Again at the same time...

We walk in different world, just meet in a same time, by an accident... So that, it's the time for say goodbye maybe... Even I'd said for many times that I must release this, I never release, I never feel free in my own heart... There's no one can dive into... Just me, and myself that dive deeper, deeper, and deeper more... Feel sick.... I'm alone ...