Will God hear again my words just like when I was a little girl?

Will I be forgiven after saying things like this?

Will I be punished after regret about my condition?

Will I be tried again after this?

Will I realize after this?

Or will I be strong after passing this?

Longer time, I just feel like a person that do my routine. Go to school and learn. Taught to be a person without soul. Just like a robot. But also like a human being.