...
Sigh~ I don't know why but there's so many bad things happened!!! And guess what??
Looks like I feel no power to tell story at school, just see in my class blog...
And here I am, alone, in the midnight, and it is raining outside...
Why? I don't know too... But I was browsing for awhile until that I got back into the site. Looks like I'd not played for around 3 months, yeah... waiting until I get my new laptop. I missed the time playing together, even I know that now I have no time even just for playing games... Aaaahh.... T_T sucks... til now I still can not install it into my computer, fuuh... T_T really I want to play it..
Looks like I have to decide, which one I prefer? Laptop or new CPU... Honestly, I prefer OF COURSE a laptop to CPU. Why? For the exact reason it will be mine, and I won't be chased by anyone... Because new CPU means, shifting again, and hate that very much... Better use laptop, wireless net, and then finish...~_~ no more fight for that, but looks like I must work harder for that... Right now I'm here ... find some inspirations for my short stories, it's getting near with the deadlines!! At least 3 stories!!! ~_~ the idea is already got, but there's no way to manage it to a story.. aaaaaaaaaaahhh... Why must at school for inspiration?
Sigh~ Rainy again, rainy again, but tonight there's no one accompany...
Sigh~ I don't know why but there's so many bad things happened!!! And guess what??
Looks like I feel no power to tell story at school, just see in my class blog...
And here I am, alone, in the midnight, and it is raining outside...
Why? I don't know too... But I was browsing for awhile until that I got back into the site. Looks like I'd not played for around 3 months, yeah... waiting until I get my new laptop. I missed the time playing together, even I know that now I have no time even just for playing games... Aaaahh.... T_T sucks... til now I still can not install it into my computer, fuuh... T_T really I want to play it..
Looks like I have to decide, which one I prefer? Laptop or new CPU... Honestly, I prefer OF COURSE a laptop to CPU. Why? For the exact reason it will be mine, and I won't be chased by anyone... Because new CPU means, shifting again, and hate that very much... Better use laptop, wireless net, and then finish...~_~ no more fight for that, but looks like I must work harder for that... Right now I'm here ... find some inspirations for my short stories, it's getting near with the deadlines!! At least 3 stories!!! ~_~ the idea is already got, but there's no way to manage it to a story.. aaaaaaaaaaahhh... Why must at school for inspiration?
Sigh~ Rainy again, rainy again, but tonight there's no one accompany...
Let's begin..
Today... wake up in the morning, and immediately went to the salon!! Hehehe... looks like I've moved on so far from my daily activity and want to relax myself... And it's quite refreshing I thought, why? Even I've to wait around 2 hours for my facial list... Ahahahah, but the result.. just like we said, no pain no gain. And right now... I'll start my busy day...
3:37 AM in the morning
I've just finished wrote my math and geography notes, after that I supposed to draw Garuda Pancasila, but I think I'll do that later... Sigh~ While I'm hearing to the music, waiting for my MP3 next Saturday, hope it will be mine...I must draw the comic, must but, I think I should take a rest right now... (Full House again...) Looks like tomorrow and other days will be very busy to pass...
Uhm... I've slept for around 5 hours I think, so that I don't feel sleepy now... (This song kinda making me suffer again)... Looks like I have no mood at all for sleep.. I don't know. And I wish tomorrow morning, it will be raining, just wished... Lately, in any rain, I feel hurt deeply, silent myself then see through the windows that view was so misty, so cloudy and so cool, just like what I've feel inside, it's tough, and it was so long until the last time I cried in the rain... I feel sometimes I must go out between the rain and step there with these tears, let them go...
I wish... these cold were never gone, even I suffer, I wish I had not forget the pain, the tears, the sight, the cold and also the feels... I wish tomorrow will be rain, cloudy and a little dark... I still like the fresh smell of rain, I still missed when it fall on my head, I want to hear when it fall down heavily, I want to feel that I am not here, I am not in the past again... Because I don't see your face in the rain, blurred so fast, so that I wish I could forget you forever...
Time is running so fast, it's almost 4 AM.
Today, I feel disappointed too for another her... Yeah, there's no FRIENDS... I mean if they just kind to me when they need me... Feel sick, and also unhappy, but there's nothing I can do.. If I said, they judge me as a bandit, if I don't so that thwy will not judge me further more... Life is about choice, and I've chosen this, why? Yeah, if someday I could tell them how they act... I think they'll face the mirror, and see who are them... I don't like taking revenge, there's no use of revenge... People using many things to cover their fault, their nasty trash... Why? Even without trying to make it better, even just a little... Even just for saying sorry, but looks like the price were very high for exchange it with a sorry... I just want to silence myself, I've been very bored with an act like that... There's no use act just like anything in front of me, I saw it, I've seen it clearly... where's the right? And the wrong side...
Silence is GOLDEN... Then how could world will changed? If everyone were like them?
I wish tomorrow morning... even a little bit... rainy day.
Today... wake up in the morning, and immediately went to the salon!! Hehehe... looks like I've moved on so far from my daily activity and want to relax myself... And it's quite refreshing I thought, why? Even I've to wait around 2 hours for my facial list... Ahahahah, but the result.. just like we said, no pain no gain. And right now... I'll start my busy day...
3:37 AM in the morning
I've just finished wrote my math and geography notes, after that I supposed to draw Garuda Pancasila, but I think I'll do that later... Sigh~ While I'm hearing to the music, waiting for my MP3 next Saturday, hope it will be mine...I must draw the comic, must but, I think I should take a rest right now... (Full House again...) Looks like tomorrow and other days will be very busy to pass...
Uhm... I've slept for around 5 hours I think, so that I don't feel sleepy now... (This song kinda making me suffer again)... Looks like I have no mood at all for sleep.. I don't know. And I wish tomorrow morning, it will be raining, just wished... Lately, in any rain, I feel hurt deeply, silent myself then see through the windows that view was so misty, so cloudy and so cool, just like what I've feel inside, it's tough, and it was so long until the last time I cried in the rain... I feel sometimes I must go out between the rain and step there with these tears, let them go...
I wish... these cold were never gone, even I suffer, I wish I had not forget the pain, the tears, the sight, the cold and also the feels... I wish tomorrow will be rain, cloudy and a little dark... I still like the fresh smell of rain, I still missed when it fall on my head, I want to hear when it fall down heavily, I want to feel that I am not here, I am not in the past again... Because I don't see your face in the rain, blurred so fast, so that I wish I could forget you forever...
Time is running so fast, it's almost 4 AM.
Today, I feel disappointed too for another her... Yeah, there's no FRIENDS... I mean if they just kind to me when they need me... Feel sick, and also unhappy, but there's nothing I can do.. If I said, they judge me as a bandit, if I don't so that thwy will not judge me further more... Life is about choice, and I've chosen this, why? Yeah, if someday I could tell them how they act... I think they'll face the mirror, and see who are them... I don't like taking revenge, there's no use of revenge... People using many things to cover their fault, their nasty trash... Why? Even without trying to make it better, even just a little... Even just for saying sorry, but looks like the price were very high for exchange it with a sorry... I just want to silence myself, I've been very bored with an act like that... There's no use act just like anything in front of me, I saw it, I've seen it clearly... where's the right? And the wrong side...
Silence is GOLDEN... Then how could world will changed? If everyone were like them?
I wish tomorrow morning... even a little bit... rainy day.
Aaaa... looks like it was sunny in the morning until noon, but suddenly looks like it became cloudy so quickly and I have no idea where it come from?? Sigh~ But today, rain has fallen 3 times and heavily...
First time I hear the rain when I still on my part work, looks like very heavy and air became so cold at the time. Sigh~
Second one when I was in the car want to pick my father, waw, rain was heavily and I saw Jakarta between high buildings was very misty because of raindrops. Ehm, sometimes I feel a feelings that cloudy sky was a rare view to see, and between buildings too, just like a simple thing that go through the time. Rain fell down so heavy and it makes us feel so cold. And.. looks like I missed the time because of that...
Rain has stopped for many hours, but I feel, just now, it has been moved to other place, an unknown and invisible one... It fall down heavily just like before...
And I know a good fact, that she already make me disappointed for a reason that I really sure, I will not be wrong this time... I hate fake, and she did it again, that what I called about FAKE..
For what she do that? Don't she the one that want me not to do that?? Really FAKE... Just for a pleasure huh? Really, I have no respect anymore.... at least to her... FAKE, just make me laugh, you have changed so bad after the moment... Prestise, glorious, gold, does it bother you?? Do that make you being like this?
Sigh~
Wish there's no fake anymore... really.
First time I hear the rain when I still on my part work, looks like very heavy and air became so cold at the time. Sigh~
Second one when I was in the car want to pick my father, waw, rain was heavily and I saw Jakarta between high buildings was very misty because of raindrops. Ehm, sometimes I feel a feelings that cloudy sky was a rare view to see, and between buildings too, just like a simple thing that go through the time. Rain fell down so heavy and it makes us feel so cold. And.. looks like I missed the time because of that...
Rain has stopped for many hours, but I feel, just now, it has been moved to other place, an unknown and invisible one... It fall down heavily just like before...
And I know a good fact, that she already make me disappointed for a reason that I really sure, I will not be wrong this time... I hate fake, and she did it again, that what I called about FAKE..
For what she do that? Don't she the one that want me not to do that?? Really FAKE... Just for a pleasure huh? Really, I have no respect anymore.... at least to her... FAKE, just make me laugh, you have changed so bad after the moment... Prestise, glorious, gold, does it bother you?? Do that make you being like this?
Sigh~
Wish there's no fake anymore... really.
Hahahahaha, tiba2 aja hari ini ada aura bahagia yang gw liat bertebaran dimana-mana, maybe karena ini hari Jumat kali yak?? Jadinya pada seneng... tapi sumpah... sejak asisten kurikulum pindah tangan, our schedule became very boring!!!! So ingetlah kawan kalo dulu hari Jumat banyak pelajaran santai, macem eko, seni, dsb... sekarang ditaroh lah pelajaran indah bikin ngantuk yang shiftnya dobel semua.. Apalagi dlu kan Bu Tatiek jarang masuk... merdeka bebas kita semua...-missed that moment-
Okeei melengkapi cerita helsa di bawah...
Pelajaran 1 -2: OR
Weissh hidup dan mati tim ada di tangan, terasa berat (kaya manggul beras), akirnya menang 20-19... --" meski akirnya ganda campuran kalah, n kelompok gw kalah .... sad.. Tapi gw ngeliat betapa histerisnya yang teriak2 waktu ganda putri menang, dan betapa bisa kita melakukan kesalahan bodoh yang bikin fenomena 'DEUCE' di waktu trakhir, contoh gw yang servisnya bisa salah kamar gitu, yang ga kegebuk lah bolanya, swt banget...~
Result : kaki gw keseleo karena teralu ngebalet pas bulutangkis...sampe skarang mase sakid
Pelajaran 3-4 : EKONOMI - A
Seperti biasa, dengan ketidakjelasannya... tau2 dateng ke gw dengan gak sopannya ngomong,"Buat gih nomor 2!" --" swt banget, terus akhirnya Randy dan Budi jadi korban berikudna nyusul... Terus Randy ketauan abis nyontek dari kertas gw yang jawabannya terbalik itu...dan si Adiel dengan keponya menyindir2 Randy, dan mengancam2 mo ngurangin nilai gue gara2 ga mao ajarin si Randy (rese banget sih!!)
Terus dia ngejelasin apa tau (keajaiban!! Selama ini dia ga pernah bahas apa2 kan guys??), terus nulis 4 soal, n langsung aja gw kerjain.. Yang yaaah, mandek banget soalnya... --" penyakitnya si Adiel lah ya... tau sendiri dia suka sotoy kan.. MR.SOTOY se IPEKA... pas gw tanya, tiba2 dia linglung sendiri, pas gw ngintip kertas jimat (kertas soal lecek, yang udah lecek, kumel, jorok, karena ditulis pake pensil) yang dibawa dia ... Disana cuma ada SOAL dan JAWABAN AKHIR
Astaga... gw langsung diem seribu bahasa, setengah menyesal nanya sama dia (tapi kalo ga tanya siapa juga, si Felli bilang lupa, terus Shearen gencar menanyai gw), tiba2 dia keluarin rumus yang baru gw denger pertama kali, cari nilai rupiah laba maksimum pake TR=TC... Gw udah no komen deh dan membiarkan dia ngacak2 kertas jawaban gw yang udah semakin dekil, setelah ngerjain soal nomor 4 yang tak berujung tak berakar itu, kesimpulannya... soal itu SALAH saudara-saudara... (dengan tampang tak berdosa, dia hapus soal nomer 4 dari papan, da tanya ke gw 3x nomor berapakah yang salah itu?)... Pas keluar, gw cuman bisik2 sama Felli... "Lu pernah ga dapet rumus laba maksimum TR=TC??" Dia cuman nunjukin muka betenya... Sigh~ bener-bener.... Gimana nasib kita pas UAN ya?
Pelajaran 5-6 : SENI MUSIK -sleep time-
Pelajaran di mana harusnya gw review sejarah yang berakibat gw ga review and ngaco pas ngejelasin dan ga ketauan Tatiek untungnya...
Pak Frans diam seribu bahasa setelah mengeluarkan komando tuk berkumpul dan bilang deadline kumpulin video klip itu minggu depan... Gw dipanggil Karissa, bersama yang laen nyusun buat video klip.Selama itu gw cuman mikir, gimana cara kelarin gwa punya slide Sejarah yang mase setengah jadi ntu?? Bisa dibunuh sama Bu Tatiek daaah....Terus 2 jam berlalu, kelas sunyi membentuk kelompok sendiri, makin dingin, dan bel pun berbunyi... pikiran gw... HELL bener2
Pelajaran 7-8 : SEJARAH
dan Semenit berlalu, lima menit berlalu...Loh kok Bu Tatiek ga dateng2 ya?? Sedangkan kelas sudah mulai menunjukkan taringnya. Dah pada keluar2 kelas, mondar mandir... Terus gw nyari Bu Tatiek buat minta istarahat dulu (alasan basi, pasang laptop dlu biar ga makan waktu), ternyata pas gw melongok ke kantor, gw ga menjumpai ibu kita yang berambut indah itu... Terus FredyDavid neriakin gw dari atas, katanya masuk, gw kira Bu Tatiek dah dateng... tapi ternyata katanya Bu Tatiek lagi ikut kuliah umum kimia anak kelas 1..
Bengong... (Really miracle?? Speechless).. ga bisa gw ungkapin pake kata2...
Dan gw nangkring dlu ke ruang BK sejenak bareng Felli setelah akhirnya gw balik ke kelas yang tertutup rapat tapi rame (berati ga ada guru), berhubung pintunya macet, jadi bukanya pake pemaksaan... Tiba2 gw liat di dalem semua terdiam liatin gw... Terus tiba2 ngakak bersama... Belakangan gw tau, si Fredy lagi mao makan apel.. Karena gw buka pintu, dikiranya gw si Bu Tatiek, terus dia bingung, tuh apel mo ditaroh dimana, jadi dikeluarin tu apel n dibuang ke tong sampah... -.- jelas ketawa anak2 membahana sampe kayanya mengganggu keheningan kelas sebelah yang notabene lagi pelajaran dongeng SOSIO...
Bel... istirahat, gw melesat ke ruang kompu...Buru2 kelarin slide gw, dan dengan sisa waktu 5 menit ke bawah ambil surat rekomendasi dan ketemu Pak Edo buat tanya lomba yang dia bilang... dan disanalah gw bertemu lagi dengan guru KEPO...
A=Adiel E= Pak Edo G= Gabby
G : (sibuk ucek2 lembar daftar lomba depan Pak Edo)
A : Gab, itu yang lomba eko dah bilang blon ma Pak Edo??
G : ga tau (sibuk buka2..), tanya aja ndiri, kayanya ga dapet undangannya
A : Hah? Sini2 coba liat dulu.. (merebut lembar daftar lomba di tangan gw)
G: (diem, balik ngomong ke Pak Edo) iya Pak, lomba dari Trisakti kita ga dapet undangan ya?
E : Oh iya nak, kita kan harus ...... (ga tau deh dia ngoceh apa, membawa tanda tangan nya si Pak Ronald pula yang udah bertebaran daftar lomba di mejanya).. Jadi mintain dulu proposalnya.
A: Mana nih lomba Ekonya? Kok nggak ada?
G : Ya iyalah, orang itu tadi saya cari lomba design.. (sotoy deeee)
A : Yaudah ntar kita minta aja
E : Ga bisa gitu lohh, Pak Adiel (sumpah Pak Edo pake tekanan intonasi tiap kali ngomong kata 'Pak Adiel', macem dia suka ngomong nak ke anak2)... kan dari sana... bla2 (ga ambil pusink dia ngomong apa, sibuk liat2 kertas lagi)
G : Yaudah deh Pak ntar saya pikir2 lagi...
E : Jangan telat loh nak, besok terakhir. Jadi, ikut?
G : Nggak.. nggak tau maksudnya, mikir2 dulu... oke?
Hijrah ke meja BABEH, minta surat reko yang ternyata harus dikasih ke Pak Berkat... Keluar ketemu Bu Tatiek di TU, Pak Berkat ga ada, lari2, ke atas, terus kasi kertas surat rekonya si Helsa... Keringetan, gitu masuk presentasi... --" panas, gugup... kacau banget dah pokoknya tadi... untung hanya 40 menit kalo ga, bisa merinding gw... SAVE..
Pelajaran 9-10 : SOSIOLOGI
Always and never ga pernah... kena hawa ngantuk... Belon lagi, perdebatan antara kita dengan Bu Tikha... antara didikte catetannya dan dicatet depan papan... Akhirnya Bu Tikha mau juga ngasih dicatet di depan. Tapi abis itu gw selalu merasa waktu di saat itu bukan merayap, tapi nyeret... asli 5 menit lamaaaaaaa banget... Akhirnya gw udah ngantuk berat, dan pindah tempat ke tempatnya Randy karena dingin di tempat gw, gw menelungkupkan kepala, setengah pusing, setengah mendengarkan dongeng... (dongeng see gw blg) Terus akhirnya Bu Tikha menyadari karena gw denger dia sempet panggil nama gw, yah pasti gara2 gw tidur lah! Cuman angkat pala beberapa cm bilang " Pusink, Bu" terus lanjut tidur, kira2 15 menit, lumayanlah membunuh waktu. Abis itu seger, pura2 nyatet juga... Dan bel...
~_____________~ melesaaaaaaaaaaattttt... pulang... capek banget asli..
(can see my other post now at my Blog Class... just FYI)
Okeei melengkapi cerita helsa di bawah...
Pelajaran 1 -2: OR
Weissh hidup dan mati tim ada di tangan, terasa berat (kaya manggul beras), akirnya menang 20-19... --" meski akirnya ganda campuran kalah, n kelompok gw kalah .... sad.. Tapi gw ngeliat betapa histerisnya yang teriak2 waktu ganda putri menang, dan betapa bisa kita melakukan kesalahan bodoh yang bikin fenomena 'DEUCE' di waktu trakhir, contoh gw yang servisnya bisa salah kamar gitu, yang ga kegebuk lah bolanya, swt banget...~
Result : kaki gw keseleo karena teralu ngebalet pas bulutangkis...sampe skarang mase sakid
Pelajaran 3-4 : EKONOMI - A
Seperti biasa, dengan ketidakjelasannya... tau2 dateng ke gw dengan gak sopannya ngomong,"Buat gih nomor 2!" --" swt banget, terus akhirnya Randy dan Budi jadi korban berikudna nyusul... Terus Randy ketauan abis nyontek dari kertas gw yang jawabannya terbalik itu...dan si Adiel dengan keponya menyindir2 Randy, dan mengancam2 mo ngurangin nilai gue gara2 ga mao ajarin si Randy (rese banget sih!!)
Terus dia ngejelasin apa tau (keajaiban!! Selama ini dia ga pernah bahas apa2 kan guys??), terus nulis 4 soal, n langsung aja gw kerjain.. Yang yaaah, mandek banget soalnya... --" penyakitnya si Adiel lah ya... tau sendiri dia suka sotoy kan.. MR.SOTOY se IPEKA... pas gw tanya, tiba2 dia linglung sendiri, pas gw ngintip kertas jimat (kertas soal lecek, yang udah lecek, kumel, jorok, karena ditulis pake pensil) yang dibawa dia ... Disana cuma ada SOAL dan JAWABAN AKHIR
Astaga... gw langsung diem seribu bahasa, setengah menyesal nanya sama dia (tapi kalo ga tanya siapa juga, si Felli bilang lupa, terus Shearen gencar menanyai gw), tiba2 dia keluarin rumus yang baru gw denger pertama kali, cari nilai rupiah laba maksimum pake TR=TC... Gw udah no komen deh dan membiarkan dia ngacak2 kertas jawaban gw yang udah semakin dekil, setelah ngerjain soal nomor 4 yang tak berujung tak berakar itu, kesimpulannya... soal itu SALAH saudara-saudara... (dengan tampang tak berdosa, dia hapus soal nomer 4 dari papan, da tanya ke gw 3x nomor berapakah yang salah itu?)... Pas keluar, gw cuman bisik2 sama Felli... "Lu pernah ga dapet rumus laba maksimum TR=TC??" Dia cuman nunjukin muka betenya... Sigh~ bener-bener.... Gimana nasib kita pas UAN ya?
Pelajaran 5-6 : SENI MUSIK -sleep time-
Pelajaran di mana harusnya gw review sejarah yang berakibat gw ga review and ngaco pas ngejelasin dan ga ketauan Tatiek untungnya...
Pak Frans diam seribu bahasa setelah mengeluarkan komando tuk berkumpul dan bilang deadline kumpulin video klip itu minggu depan... Gw dipanggil Karissa, bersama yang laen nyusun buat video klip.Selama itu gw cuman mikir, gimana cara kelarin gwa punya slide Sejarah yang mase setengah jadi ntu?? Bisa dibunuh sama Bu Tatiek daaah....Terus 2 jam berlalu, kelas sunyi membentuk kelompok sendiri, makin dingin, dan bel pun berbunyi... pikiran gw... HELL bener2
Pelajaran 7-8 : SEJARAH
dan Semenit berlalu, lima menit berlalu...Loh kok Bu Tatiek ga dateng2 ya?? Sedangkan kelas sudah mulai menunjukkan taringnya. Dah pada keluar2 kelas, mondar mandir... Terus gw nyari Bu Tatiek buat minta istarahat dulu (alasan basi, pasang laptop dlu biar ga makan waktu), ternyata pas gw melongok ke kantor, gw ga menjumpai ibu kita yang berambut indah itu... Terus FredyDavid neriakin gw dari atas, katanya masuk, gw kira Bu Tatiek dah dateng... tapi ternyata katanya Bu Tatiek lagi ikut kuliah umum kimia anak kelas 1..
Bengong... (Really miracle?? Speechless).. ga bisa gw ungkapin pake kata2...
Dan gw nangkring dlu ke ruang BK sejenak bareng Felli setelah akhirnya gw balik ke kelas yang tertutup rapat tapi rame (berati ga ada guru), berhubung pintunya macet, jadi bukanya pake pemaksaan... Tiba2 gw liat di dalem semua terdiam liatin gw... Terus tiba2 ngakak bersama... Belakangan gw tau, si Fredy lagi mao makan apel.. Karena gw buka pintu, dikiranya gw si Bu Tatiek, terus dia bingung, tuh apel mo ditaroh dimana, jadi dikeluarin tu apel n dibuang ke tong sampah... -.- jelas ketawa anak2 membahana sampe kayanya mengganggu keheningan kelas sebelah yang notabene lagi pelajaran dongeng SOSIO...
Bel... istirahat, gw melesat ke ruang kompu...Buru2 kelarin slide gw, dan dengan sisa waktu 5 menit ke bawah ambil surat rekomendasi dan ketemu Pak Edo buat tanya lomba yang dia bilang... dan disanalah gw bertemu lagi dengan guru KEPO...
A=Adiel E= Pak Edo G= Gabby
G : (sibuk ucek2 lembar daftar lomba depan Pak Edo)
A : Gab, itu yang lomba eko dah bilang blon ma Pak Edo??
G : ga tau (sibuk buka2..), tanya aja ndiri, kayanya ga dapet undangannya
A : Hah? Sini2 coba liat dulu.. (merebut lembar daftar lomba di tangan gw)
G: (diem, balik ngomong ke Pak Edo) iya Pak, lomba dari Trisakti kita ga dapet undangan ya?
E : Oh iya nak, kita kan harus ...... (ga tau deh dia ngoceh apa, membawa tanda tangan nya si Pak Ronald pula yang udah bertebaran daftar lomba di mejanya).. Jadi mintain dulu proposalnya.
A: Mana nih lomba Ekonya? Kok nggak ada?
G : Ya iyalah, orang itu tadi saya cari lomba design.. (sotoy deeee)
A : Yaudah ntar kita minta aja
E : Ga bisa gitu lohh, Pak Adiel (sumpah Pak Edo pake tekanan intonasi tiap kali ngomong kata 'Pak Adiel', macem dia suka ngomong nak ke anak2)... kan dari sana... bla2 (ga ambil pusink dia ngomong apa, sibuk liat2 kertas lagi)
G : Yaudah deh Pak ntar saya pikir2 lagi...
E : Jangan telat loh nak, besok terakhir. Jadi, ikut?
G : Nggak.. nggak tau maksudnya, mikir2 dulu... oke?
Hijrah ke meja BABEH, minta surat reko yang ternyata harus dikasih ke Pak Berkat... Keluar ketemu Bu Tatiek di TU, Pak Berkat ga ada, lari2, ke atas, terus kasi kertas surat rekonya si Helsa... Keringetan, gitu masuk presentasi... --" panas, gugup... kacau banget dah pokoknya tadi... untung hanya 40 menit kalo ga, bisa merinding gw... SAVE..
Pelajaran 9-10 : SOSIOLOGI
Always and never ga pernah... kena hawa ngantuk... Belon lagi, perdebatan antara kita dengan Bu Tikha... antara didikte catetannya dan dicatet depan papan... Akhirnya Bu Tikha mau juga ngasih dicatet di depan. Tapi abis itu gw selalu merasa waktu di saat itu bukan merayap, tapi nyeret... asli 5 menit lamaaaaaaa banget... Akhirnya gw udah ngantuk berat, dan pindah tempat ke tempatnya Randy karena dingin di tempat gw, gw menelungkupkan kepala, setengah pusing, setengah mendengarkan dongeng... (dongeng see gw blg) Terus akhirnya Bu Tikha menyadari karena gw denger dia sempet panggil nama gw, yah pasti gara2 gw tidur lah! Cuman angkat pala beberapa cm bilang " Pusink, Bu" terus lanjut tidur, kira2 15 menit, lumayanlah membunuh waktu. Abis itu seger, pura2 nyatet juga... Dan bel...
~_____________~ melesaaaaaaaaaaattttt... pulang... capek banget asli..
(can see my other post now at my Blog Class... just FYI)
Here we go..
Today, around 9 AM when Accounting class, and other students were very busy for remedial, I was wearing Jo's jacket, tightly, and writing on my file paper, with a black pen... Then I saw out of the window, sigh~ It's so cloudy there... It made me sick a lot, I remember again, that memory that should be disappear now...
I continued my job, until the bell ringing, time for break. Then I went out and took my meal outside the class, after that, I went to the library and borrow some books. Rain fell lightly, and I keep the jacket tightly, my head was really heavy, and I think I may out from the class. But, along Geographic class, I have no idea to follow the lesson, I even can not concentrate myself just to hear the explanation, just going around, hang on my chair, that was very cold by Air conditioner, then I pull the jacket tightly... My stomach getting sick again, really just like wanna die..
Bell was ringing, break again. Then I went to copy a recommendation letter for university, then walk there and here, until the bell was ringing, and I swallow my bread quickly.Along Economy Class, really, I just hang on my chair without jacket, even Randy has offer me to switch seat, and also want to borrow me his jacket.I have no power to say, just lift my head a little then said ,"No thanks".. after that I put my head on my desk, and let the air flow behind my back, through my arms, feel so cool, but I can not move, but ... even when my eyes were closing, to rest my body, I still took attention to Ms. Ciska's explanation, even there's no one words I've missed.After that, some of boys in front of me asked,"Are you sick?" I just said weakly, no. And after that, I borrow Randy's jacket, until the end of the class, looks like I regained back my health...
After waiting around one hour, washed my face, ate my lunch, then took a nap around 20 minutes, I must go for work. When I woke up, rain has fallen heavily, and on my way, it was getting bad, just like it touching my heart hardly, then I remember, about promise of The First Rain in This Season... Old promise, but I dunno why, I'm crying deeply and quietly in the car. I sobbed it and felt so sick, really sick inside that may not be forgiven.. I feel sick when rain keep fell down heavily, breathe heavily, and also feel a little fever...
Really, I met the children, some of them kinda make me mad, sigh~ after that I went home, it was so cold, that I just sit on my chair then close my eyes... Sigh~ really, it's sick at all.. So sick.. Until I went home and I must force myself to do that and this... I dunno why, but now looks like I want to hurt myself rather than what people do...
Now, I still have to finish my slide, my notes, and also myself... I don't know just feel like I am happy if now I am pushing myself... My feet feel so sick, knees also so painful... These pain come back just like a nightmare... Again and again.. Inspiration of the rain, after that, I got many idea to wrote, but looks like physically I still not ready at all... Aaaah I still have to collect many data for my college preparation. Must go to the doctor for get the letter of non color blind..
Sigh~
Then I read my class blog, really, a little funny, but it will be unforgettable memory in my life, in my senior high... Time passed again, time to do works... Sigh~
Sorry...I've decided to forget you, and move on to the future..I won't come back anymore... I will not.. I promised.
Today, around 9 AM when Accounting class, and other students were very busy for remedial, I was wearing Jo's jacket, tightly, and writing on my file paper, with a black pen... Then I saw out of the window, sigh~ It's so cloudy there... It made me sick a lot, I remember again, that memory that should be disappear now...
I continued my job, until the bell ringing, time for break. Then I went out and took my meal outside the class, after that, I went to the library and borrow some books. Rain fell lightly, and I keep the jacket tightly, my head was really heavy, and I think I may out from the class. But, along Geographic class, I have no idea to follow the lesson, I even can not concentrate myself just to hear the explanation, just going around, hang on my chair, that was very cold by Air conditioner, then I pull the jacket tightly... My stomach getting sick again, really just like wanna die..
Bell was ringing, break again. Then I went to copy a recommendation letter for university, then walk there and here, until the bell was ringing, and I swallow my bread quickly.Along Economy Class, really, I just hang on my chair without jacket, even Randy has offer me to switch seat, and also want to borrow me his jacket.I have no power to say, just lift my head a little then said ,"No thanks".. after that I put my head on my desk, and let the air flow behind my back, through my arms, feel so cool, but I can not move, but ... even when my eyes were closing, to rest my body, I still took attention to Ms. Ciska's explanation, even there's no one words I've missed.After that, some of boys in front of me asked,"Are you sick?" I just said weakly, no. And after that, I borrow Randy's jacket, until the end of the class, looks like I regained back my health...
After waiting around one hour, washed my face, ate my lunch, then took a nap around 20 minutes, I must go for work. When I woke up, rain has fallen heavily, and on my way, it was getting bad, just like it touching my heart hardly, then I remember, about promise of The First Rain in This Season... Old promise, but I dunno why, I'm crying deeply and quietly in the car. I sobbed it and felt so sick, really sick inside that may not be forgiven.. I feel sick when rain keep fell down heavily, breathe heavily, and also feel a little fever...
Really, I met the children, some of them kinda make me mad, sigh~ after that I went home, it was so cold, that I just sit on my chair then close my eyes... Sigh~ really, it's sick at all.. So sick.. Until I went home and I must force myself to do that and this... I dunno why, but now looks like I want to hurt myself rather than what people do...
Now, I still have to finish my slide, my notes, and also myself... I don't know just feel like I am happy if now I am pushing myself... My feet feel so sick, knees also so painful... These pain come back just like a nightmare... Again and again.. Inspiration of the rain, after that, I got many idea to wrote, but looks like physically I still not ready at all... Aaaah I still have to collect many data for my college preparation. Must go to the doctor for get the letter of non color blind..
Sigh~
Then I read my class blog, really, a little funny, but it will be unforgettable memory in my life, in my senior high... Time passed again, time to do works... Sigh~
Sorry...I've decided to forget you, and move on to the future..I won't come back anymore... I will not.. I promised.
Fiuhh... really.. I cannot concentrate even for an hour,really, Math, and any other silly lesson, double and double, really NIGHTMARE, BIG NIGHTMARE...!!!
After tiring hours of Computer,Geographic, etc. Sigh~ Meeting that GUY AGAIN FOR TODAY!!!!! ZZZ, what kind of sin that I've done today!
Aaaaaaahhhhh... really like a big pressure meeting him and must facing the really... nasty flirting ... my gosh!!! Why must me..?? Do I looks happy when he do that?? -.- I just wanna say deeply, yeah there's many kind of people in this world.. Even I still can't believe myself... Looks like I must reduce 0 from his age.. Really, sick!! --"
Aaaaa, tomorrow my class will show a choir of Amazing Grace song... Must exercise a little more.... Ahem, looks like tomorrow will be more fun than today, because there's kinda ... presentation about where are we going after senior high?
Uhm... feels so bad today, class was very cold ... Aaaaahh..Feel my body very lazy even to move on, but today I pass many time with laugh... Hahahah there's always a thing to be laughed at. Uhm, tomorrow there's no tasks but I must review today's Math lesson, I was not paying attention at all along the class.
But I feel free today... Time get passed, I must going on now!!!!! No time for quiet and go to sleep, each time is money, man!!!! (alah kaya si ***** aja)
After tiring hours of Computer,Geographic, etc. Sigh~ Meeting that GUY AGAIN FOR TODAY!!!!! ZZZ, what kind of sin that I've done today!
Aaaaaaahhhhh... really like a big pressure meeting him and must facing the really... nasty flirting ... my gosh!!! Why must me..?? Do I looks happy when he do that?? -.- I just wanna say deeply, yeah there's many kind of people in this world.. Even I still can't believe myself... Looks like I must reduce 0 from his age.. Really, sick!! --"
Aaaaa, tomorrow my class will show a choir of Amazing Grace song... Must exercise a little more.... Ahem, looks like tomorrow will be more fun than today, because there's kinda ... presentation about where are we going after senior high?
Uhm... feels so bad today, class was very cold ... Aaaaahh..Feel my body very lazy even to move on, but today I pass many time with laugh... Hahahah there's always a thing to be laughed at. Uhm, tomorrow there's no tasks but I must review today's Math lesson, I was not paying attention at all along the class.
But I feel free today... Time get passed, I must going on now!!!!! No time for quiet and go to sleep, each time is money, man!!!! (alah kaya si ***** aja)
Sigh~ after my HSK test and another test, I feel just like very busy around from this condition. Getting a headache again just like yesterday.. (waiting for my meal)
Ow yeah..
Aaaah.... smells so good this udon, ahem. Seems wanna eat now...
Frustrated, and I was late go home now... sigh~ Really, suffer a lot inside my body, ahem, today I want to continue my tasks..
Feel full after eat~
Ahem...I dunno why today, waiting isn't feel very boring... until... HE MEET ME ON THE STREET...
~_~ my gosh!!!! Are there any stupid guy that offer a drive, then said it would be a scandal, really... ~_~ very stupid.... sigh~ just feel I was being like his toys sometimes, really... Aaaahhhh.... there's nothing I could think for, I think I should take a rest.. ~_~ fiuh...
Ow yeah..
Aaaah.... smells so good this udon, ahem. Seems wanna eat now...
Frustrated, and I was late go home now... sigh~ Really, suffer a lot inside my body, ahem, today I want to continue my tasks..
Feel full after eat~
Ahem...I dunno why today, waiting isn't feel very boring... until... HE MEET ME ON THE STREET...
~_~ my gosh!!!! Are there any stupid guy that offer a drive, then said it would be a scandal, really... ~_~ very stupid.... sigh~ just feel I was being like his toys sometimes, really... Aaaahhhh.... there's nothing I could think for, I think I should take a rest.. ~_~ fiuh...
I still remember in a TV Show that have a title A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes, and for a while I remember from its BGM sound is Cinderella's song..
Then I'm thinking of it til now.... Really... I don't mean not for having any dream along but..sometimes I feel I have a dream not in a right place... Sigh~ then now it begin to suffer again, even just a little..
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dream you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you with for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true....
Sigh~
I feel that in my dream I lose my feelings, I feel the heartaches, even when I am fast asleep, I'm grieving on my own, crying on myself... Even when I keep on believing on my dream, and when it happened, it scratch a big one...There's no one care. Frustrated.. depressed, and down deeply..
I wish if I can believe in dream, even looks stupid, or maybe looks nonsense, but I have no any idea that I could believe on again. It making sounds of ache.. Screaming quietly, making me feel so pressed, being cornered...
Sigh~
I have no any idea anymore.. I am really not in a good mood that I can trust one or another, I just believe, maybe this is the last one. The true feeling I felt 3 years ago, looks funny now, and maybe this will be too. How can I reach unreached breeze that I will never climb over it? And other fact that I will not own the crown as the chosen one... It keep making sound of my heart, truly.. I feel I can handle this by myself.. but in fact,I just like other, have my own limit.. Feel sucks with that..
I'd told myself for many times that I don't have to believe in dreams anymore, life is harder than we realize... And now, I realize that I don't have many time just like years before, this is the last chance for me. I really never know that high school year will end so quickly, just like yesterday I was a new student in grade 10, but now I'm in grade 12 and almost graduate...
Sigh ~ (get a new headache because copy of my score results is lost... gosh!)
Ah,I don't know why...I really have a great pain inside... I wanna cry, really want to cry...
Sigh~
Dream... is really I can make it come true?
Then I'm thinking of it til now.... Really... I don't mean not for having any dream along but..sometimes I feel I have a dream not in a right place... Sigh~ then now it begin to suffer again, even just a little..
A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dream you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you with for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dream that you wish will come true....
Sigh~
I feel that in my dream I lose my feelings, I feel the heartaches, even when I am fast asleep, I'm grieving on my own, crying on myself... Even when I keep on believing on my dream, and when it happened, it scratch a big one...There's no one care. Frustrated.. depressed, and down deeply..
I wish if I can believe in dream, even looks stupid, or maybe looks nonsense, but I have no any idea that I could believe on again. It making sounds of ache.. Screaming quietly, making me feel so pressed, being cornered...
Sigh~
I have no any idea anymore.. I am really not in a good mood that I can trust one or another, I just believe, maybe this is the last one. The true feeling I felt 3 years ago, looks funny now, and maybe this will be too. How can I reach unreached breeze that I will never climb over it? And other fact that I will not own the crown as the chosen one... It keep making sound of my heart, truly.. I feel I can handle this by myself.. but in fact,I just like other, have my own limit.. Feel sucks with that..
I'd told myself for many times that I don't have to believe in dreams anymore, life is harder than we realize... And now, I realize that I don't have many time just like years before, this is the last chance for me. I really never know that high school year will end so quickly, just like yesterday I was a new student in grade 10, but now I'm in grade 12 and almost graduate...
Sigh ~ (get a new headache because copy of my score results is lost... gosh!)
Ah,I don't know why...I really have a great pain inside... I wanna cry, really want to cry...
Sigh~
Dream... is really I can make it come true?
Gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa capek capek capek capek bangettttt, ga boong deh.Jalan kaki dari IBII ke rumah ternyata LEBIH JAUH dari apa yang gw bayangin...
Tadi di IBII nemenin Tine yang observasi kampus n keliling muter-muter studio komunikasi... n macem-macem lah, abis itu juga masuk ke kelas anak yg lagi kuliah, gilaa udah seragam mentereng lage warnanya ijo2 gitu... mampus dah gw bilang... --" Hahhahahah
Terus yah udaaah deee... jalan kakinya... Sigh~ ni lg melemaskan kaki, terus mo mandi, gila gw kaya kena hujan angin dan debu...Muka rasanya udah jorok banget, gatel sana sene... Mo keramas, cuci bersih semuanya deh, gila, besok gw kudu scrubbing total daaaahh... parah banget kalo nggak soalnya.. bisa numpuk semua deh daki dkk nya yang jorok2, hoekkksss....
Uhm hari ini, masih harus buat naskah pidato, bikin bahan presentasi, lum lagi harus kerjain drilling Inggris, belajar KWN yang bukunya ga gw bawa pulang, buset daaah bener2 banyak kerjaan, biz mandi, makan bobo deh...
Tadi di IBII nemenin Tine yang observasi kampus n keliling muter-muter studio komunikasi... n macem-macem lah, abis itu juga masuk ke kelas anak yg lagi kuliah, gilaa udah seragam mentereng lage warnanya ijo2 gitu... mampus dah gw bilang... --" Hahhahahah
Terus yah udaaah deee... jalan kakinya... Sigh~ ni lg melemaskan kaki, terus mo mandi, gila gw kaya kena hujan angin dan debu...Muka rasanya udah jorok banget, gatel sana sene... Mo keramas, cuci bersih semuanya deh, gila, besok gw kudu scrubbing total daaaahh... parah banget kalo nggak soalnya.. bisa numpuk semua deh daki dkk nya yang jorok2, hoekkksss....
Uhm hari ini, masih harus buat naskah pidato, bikin bahan presentasi, lum lagi harus kerjain drilling Inggris, belajar KWN yang bukunya ga gw bawa pulang, buset daaah bener2 banyak kerjaan, biz mandi, makan bobo deh...
~_~ I really dunno how, but this news spread so fast, and it really KILLING ME MORE than 3 years ago, when something like that spread in a same way...
Jelas aja lah ya!!!!! Gimana ga heboh kalo tiba2 menyebar issue gw dah married, sama manusia cumi!!! Notabene, statusnya still my teacher bro... at SCHOOL lage!!!! Aduuuuuuh gw bener2 mo meninggal dah rasanya... --" swt kabar trakir gw dblg lg hamil 1 minggu... astaganaga.... Dah speechless gwa rasanyaaaaaaaa...
Zzz... ~_~ but in truth, the most important thing that making this news getting hotter... is... HIMSELF!!!!! Really2 SUCKS!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..... I can't believe that he can act just like he response it... --" My God... Yesterday on Friday, it was really big disaster...BIG ONE...
I have no power for say NO, it's not true, there's no one believe in me.. ~_~ Sigh~ getting my headache again...
Zzzz kesel2 lama2 gw iya2in juga neh biar pada seneng...
Now, can you believe that...hari Jumat kmaren, zzz caper bener, bikin gw jadi bahan omongan asleeee!!! -.- nanyain PS2 (lucu bener gw kae liat koko gw brapa taun lalu geto, pas dapet PS2), cerita2 yang ga jelas juga, netesin tinta n bikin brantakan meja plus MENODAI BUKU JURNAL... aaaaa bener2 deh..., senyum ga jelas gitu bikin gw merinding, dan kata2 paling mematikannya "Tunggu lulus aja ntar.." ~_~ sigh, for me, there's no any other mean (terserah deh gw dibilang lemot).. tape miss2 gossipers yang pasti seneng bener dengernya, loncat2 kegirangan setengah mati kae udah menang undian 3 milyar...
- Dia sih enak ngomongnya biarin aja(emang tipe muka badak ga tao malu), lah gw(maseh muka manusia)... aaaaaaaaa paling ga tahan digituiiiiiinnn -
Kayanya impian gw menjalani tahun terakir gw di SMA dengan indah pupus sudah...Hiks...
~_~ Gila dah bener2 di skolah topiknya skarang INDAH sih gw blg... -.-" guys stop pleaseeeee...!!!
Jelas aja lah ya!!!!! Gimana ga heboh kalo tiba2 menyebar issue gw dah married, sama manusia cumi!!! Notabene, statusnya still my teacher bro... at SCHOOL lage!!!! Aduuuuuuh gw bener2 mo meninggal dah rasanya... --" swt kabar trakir gw dblg lg hamil 1 minggu... astaganaga.... Dah speechless gwa rasanyaaaaaaaa...
Zzz... ~_~ but in truth, the most important thing that making this news getting hotter... is... HIMSELF!!!!! Really2 SUCKS!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..... I can't believe that he can act just like he response it... --" My God... Yesterday on Friday, it was really big disaster...BIG ONE...
I have no power for say NO, it's not true, there's no one believe in me.. ~_~ Sigh~ getting my headache again...
Zzzz kesel2 lama2 gw iya2in juga neh biar pada seneng...
Now, can you believe that...hari Jumat kmaren, zzz caper bener, bikin gw jadi bahan omongan asleeee!!! -.- nanyain PS2 (lucu bener gw kae liat koko gw brapa taun lalu geto, pas dapet PS2), cerita2 yang ga jelas juga, netesin tinta n bikin brantakan meja plus MENODAI BUKU JURNAL... aaaaa bener2 deh..., senyum ga jelas gitu bikin gw merinding, dan kata2 paling mematikannya "Tunggu lulus aja ntar.." ~_~ sigh, for me, there's no any other mean (terserah deh gw dibilang lemot).. tape miss2 gossipers yang pasti seneng bener dengernya, loncat2 kegirangan setengah mati kae udah menang undian 3 milyar...
- Dia sih enak ngomongnya biarin aja(emang tipe muka badak ga tao malu), lah gw(maseh muka manusia)... aaaaaaaaa paling ga tahan digituiiiiiinnn -
Kayanya impian gw menjalani tahun terakir gw di SMA dengan indah pupus sudah...Hiks...
~_~ Gila dah bener2 di skolah topiknya skarang INDAH sih gw blg... -.-" guys stop pleaseeeee...!!!
This the story~
I remember that I always protecting 'it' .... Kept on the deepest of my heart, let it drown inside and never float on the surface... I'll never let anyone know...Even it feels hurt... hurt me a lot... I always act like there's nothing happen..
Little pair of wings, that it want to came out, spread into the world... spread outside of mine, making a barrier for myself... protecting me from the outside.. It supposed to be like that, but... I've been locked it deep inside so that it has lost its shine, its power to fly, its feels to protect, to survive...
Whenever it want to come out, I pull it tightly, and look at it sadly... with thousands of tears drop, I never want to let it go. I feel hurt... sick inside... Even just keep it in my heart, but it come through from my eyes,from my face... even I just want to keep it by myself.. Even I just want to keep it inside... I feel hurt... I think that it must be forgotten, I don't want anyone knew, I don't want anyone realize the truth... Even my body go through the future, I just say let my heart dying in the past... I wish if I can turn back time.
It look at me painfully, accompany me when I'm down, feeling sad alone, that I realize now, I'll never anyone get into me... That I've closed myself for everyone.. That I never want to any cure me, holding me, or just try to know me more... I don't want to forget... Even for an easy reason... even other think useless, even no one care... But I still want to protect it... I don't want to lose it... Even looks very bad, even I must suffer, but it will feel more sick if I forget... Because I will never forget? Each time I remember I will suffer more...
Now I'm on a point.. Will I release it? Let it fly through the other...Let if fly and spread its shine and let all of them smile... Even... I feel I will not be better after release... but I think there's no other reason for me now, to just keep it locked inside, even this hand still holding it carefully... Still hope that time can be turned back..
I remember that I always protecting 'it' .... Kept on the deepest of my heart, let it drown inside and never float on the surface... I'll never let anyone know...Even it feels hurt... hurt me a lot... I always act like there's nothing happen..
Little pair of wings, that it want to came out, spread into the world... spread outside of mine, making a barrier for myself... protecting me from the outside.. It supposed to be like that, but... I've been locked it deep inside so that it has lost its shine, its power to fly, its feels to protect, to survive...
Whenever it want to come out, I pull it tightly, and look at it sadly... with thousands of tears drop, I never want to let it go. I feel hurt... sick inside... Even just keep it in my heart, but it come through from my eyes,from my face... even I just want to keep it by myself.. Even I just want to keep it inside... I feel hurt... I think that it must be forgotten, I don't want anyone knew, I don't want anyone realize the truth... Even my body go through the future, I just say let my heart dying in the past... I wish if I can turn back time.
It look at me painfully, accompany me when I'm down, feeling sad alone, that I realize now, I'll never anyone get into me... That I've closed myself for everyone.. That I never want to any cure me, holding me, or just try to know me more... I don't want to forget... Even for an easy reason... even other think useless, even no one care... But I still want to protect it... I don't want to lose it... Even looks very bad, even I must suffer, but it will feel more sick if I forget... Because I will never forget? Each time I remember I will suffer more...
Now I'm on a point.. Will I release it? Let it fly through the other...Let if fly and spread its shine and let all of them smile... Even... I feel I will not be better after release... but I think there's no other reason for me now, to just keep it locked inside, even this hand still holding it carefully... Still hope that time can be turned back..
Sigh~
Really... Love this day.. Feel a little bit yeah.. free.
But, even my painting have not finished I didn't feel sad at all.. later I'll finish it.. Hahaha.. I still have no idea for that...Maybe tomorrow or next week, when I've my free time really for my own, must waiting until the inspirations come... Aaaah...
My MOF really stuck at all.. Today I realize that I have 65.000 PP on my ID, that I didn't realize for August Grass Cup.. But!!! ~_~ Aheeemm..~_~ I really wanna think about that... Maybe buy some double experience?? ~_~ Hahaha, or maybe buy some accesories... I dunno too.. ~_~ aaaaahh... --"
But there's nothing I can do... aaheemm...
Feel nothing want to do.. Sigh~ But I dunno why I have no desire to finish my painting... eventhough it's nice.. Aaaaah.. --" sad..
Really... Love this day.. Feel a little bit yeah.. free.
But, even my painting have not finished I didn't feel sad at all.. later I'll finish it.. Hahaha.. I still have no idea for that...Maybe tomorrow or next week, when I've my free time really for my own, must waiting until the inspirations come... Aaaah...
My MOF really stuck at all.. Today I realize that I have 65.000 PP on my ID, that I didn't realize for August Grass Cup.. But!!! ~_~ Aheeemm..~_~ I really wanna think about that... Maybe buy some double experience?? ~_~ Hahaha, or maybe buy some accesories... I dunno too.. ~_~ aaaaahh... --"
But there's nothing I can do... aaheemm...
Feel nothing want to do.. Sigh~ But I dunno why I have no desire to finish my painting... eventhough it's nice.. Aaaaah.. --" sad..
Sigh~ Looks like a huge meteor step on me...
Looks like I have no more cheer or even little smile on my face, even people can hear it just from my voice. Do I looks bad today??? T_T I don't know but I feel really depressed because I've not finished my comics and also my study, and the worst so many tasks ... I've not done them, even just one of them. Now, I'm searching for my KWN tasks, then.. also typing my Sociology paper.. Sigh~ These tasks really gonna kill my brain.
I have really no idea at all for typing any words about that, or maybe searching for another. Sigh~ Really, I'm not in a good condition for doing thing like that! ~_~ but I have no words to say, I must ready for school in around 4-5 days again... Back from comfort of holidays, move on to busy days just like a daily activity ... Feel lucky that I still have extra 3 days rather than college...
But really, I think I can't work in condition like this... Sigh~ Even for thinking,studying, not at all.. Feel embarassing, depressed so much at all... Aaaa how will I do this alone??? Feel sick at all!!! T_T sigh... really funny I think huh? Not really? I dunno too....But it's SICK!! I promised myself after finishing my paper,my kwn tasks, and also the comics (I think I will draw 2-4 more pages), I will take really BREAK TIME for cooling down myself. Really, no doubt for it! Sigh~ Think I will be crazy enough!
Looks like I have no more cheer or even little smile on my face, even people can hear it just from my voice. Do I looks bad today??? T_T I don't know but I feel really depressed because I've not finished my comics and also my study, and the worst so many tasks ... I've not done them, even just one of them. Now, I'm searching for my KWN tasks, then.. also typing my Sociology paper.. Sigh~ These tasks really gonna kill my brain.
I have really no idea at all for typing any words about that, or maybe searching for another. Sigh~ Really, I'm not in a good condition for doing thing like that! ~_~ but I have no words to say, I must ready for school in around 4-5 days again... Back from comfort of holidays, move on to busy days just like a daily activity ... Feel lucky that I still have extra 3 days rather than college...
But really, I think I can't work in condition like this... Sigh~ Even for thinking,studying, not at all.. Feel embarassing, depressed so much at all... Aaaa how will I do this alone??? Feel sick at all!!! T_T sigh... really funny I think huh? Not really? I dunno too....But it's SICK!! I promised myself after finishing my paper,my kwn tasks, and also the comics (I think I will draw 2-4 more pages), I will take really BREAK TIME for cooling down myself. Really, no doubt for it! Sigh~ Think I will be crazy enough!
Lately, I woke up really late in the noon... T_T I dunno why...
Sigh~ My physical body seems suffer a little pain because of myself... T_T sigh.. I wish I could forget these..
Sigh~ My physical body seems suffer a little pain because of myself... T_T sigh.. I wish I could forget these..
I want to cry, but I can't I don't know why...
Here, feels so sick, painful... and really suffer a lot of pain.
Sigh~
None of them said that I'm bothering them.. even I feel really like that. I'm bothering their life, even when they said I am not, but at the end, should I give u the worst evidence to show you that I am the one who will crush your life into the lowest level? Should I?
Sigh~
^^ This kinda pity but really, for sure, It must be fun and not like this...
Today's schedule must be finish my comic (half) and study for my entrance test... Sigh~ but really my heart is not strong enough for works... Looks like I'd remembered into my past memories just like... how I spent holidays in the morning... and how the people I love very much, being hated by many of my friends.. And also by myself now...
This pain took deep scratch..I closed my eyes, hopes I'll no more longer feel it, but when I close my eyes... I feel I want to cry on my deep platform inside of my heart. Hopes this kind of pain will disappear, and I'll forget about anything that I ever spent together.. That I ever done together... Cry together, laugh, mad... and many more... I wish I never spent that time together, so I will never realize and regret about it...
When my face became sad... there's one who take care of me, he said he will never let me go, or just being taken of him... He said he will protect me... But deep inside, I was so happy that there's someone still look at me.. told so honest... But there's something inside, that I can't accept all of his kindness..
This feeling, this platform still chained by a rusty rope... That I realize I still can't opened that seal for another person, for another chance ... That I still never want t other step inside... Just for the one that passed away...I wish that I never hide myself into the darkness.. Into the bitter air that I breath on... I'm holding this inside, without any tears come out..
Here, feels so sick, painful... and really suffer a lot of pain.
Sigh~
None of them said that I'm bothering them.. even I feel really like that. I'm bothering their life, even when they said I am not, but at the end, should I give u the worst evidence to show you that I am the one who will crush your life into the lowest level? Should I?
Sigh~
^^ This kinda pity but really, for sure, It must be fun and not like this...
Today's schedule must be finish my comic (half) and study for my entrance test... Sigh~ but really my heart is not strong enough for works... Looks like I'd remembered into my past memories just like... how I spent holidays in the morning... and how the people I love very much, being hated by many of my friends.. And also by myself now...
This pain took deep scratch..I closed my eyes, hopes I'll no more longer feel it, but when I close my eyes... I feel I want to cry on my deep platform inside of my heart. Hopes this kind of pain will disappear, and I'll forget about anything that I ever spent together.. That I ever done together... Cry together, laugh, mad... and many more... I wish I never spent that time together, so I will never realize and regret about it...
When my face became sad... there's one who take care of me, he said he will never let me go, or just being taken of him... He said he will protect me... But deep inside, I was so happy that there's someone still look at me.. told so honest... But there's something inside, that I can't accept all of his kindness..
This feeling, this platform still chained by a rusty rope... That I realize I still can't opened that seal for another person, for another chance ... That I still never want t other step inside... Just for the one that passed away...I wish that I never hide myself into the darkness.. Into the bitter air that I breath on... I'm holding this inside, without any tears come out..
Really... It hurts inside here..
Should I choose you??
I'm not ready enough for love... I don't want to forget those painful memories...
But it keep suffer a lot...
Should I choose you??
I'm not ready enough for love... I don't want to forget those painful memories...
But it keep suffer a lot...
