Really... I think this gonna kill me.. Anytime...

I never wishes for something hard. Eventhough them... But, yeah, why me? I wish for my wishes come true, and they too. When I don't get that dreams come true, they also get the same thing, and it was because of me.. Sigh~Tragic huh?

Talking about it... just keep this pain killing me..

But, they can get more than just get me... Really, I think that I wasn't suitable for them, there's another way for them to gain their happiness without me. In the beginning, yes, it will be very nice, but I'm afraid for the next one..When they feel enough, they will leave, even I wishes for their happiness... I just a cheers that stand for someone else... I just kinda things that ever decorate them...

Guess what? I'll never be the same for them... Today's they need me, but tomorrow? I'm not doubting about their love for me, even for the reason because of my reaction, they do the opposite, then why? When you said you accept me, doesn't it means you have to understand about the other side that you can't accept? So that said 'I just accept your good side but not your bad side'.. That would fit better...

I don't mean to challenge each of them for that. It means nothing after all.. If they never realize what kind of FRIENDS they stand for. Even I was called headstrong enough, is that wrong if I stand for my own opinion? Why they mind if I choose to be different?? I never want to judge others that choose to be different, it's their own choice, why must I that take over about that? I just remind them if their choose is the BAD one... After that, it's still the same.. ~_~ They still on their own choice.

Sigh~ And also me. I'm in my own choice. Right now, must I accept and forget about him? As fast as that? Just like in the past, he ever done... It is not about taking revenge. It's about giving the other a chance, that may change everything.Maybe, with giving other some new chance.. I'll change another too.. But.. I'm afraid that they will disappointed after that. Maybe after a while.. I just make them sad.. And they would say ,"Better I never choose this"

Regret will always come late, but how I face these days? Time looks like killing me... Slow but sure... What kind of path? There's no one understand. I would care of, this secret that I never share with... Honestly, I don't want to repeat this again..