I don't know exactly why but I could say like that for now.P eople are like that...It's not because I need to be cared everytime, but people could easily do that and make me hope too much on them, you know?? Just like a product, needs a good promotion to pull in customer...

Sigh~

Sometimes,they said that they care about me, that they love me but what? Even after 6-7 years, it's just a word... That they already forget eventhough I've told them that I never want to make somebody disappointed, even for any reason, because what? Because however we'll do, it won't change anything... It won't change these pain...Won't change any others...

Sigh~

When people said they care about me, now I realize it was just yeah you know a little sympathy..They told seriously to me, that "If I do this, it means I care to you..." For the first time, I think that everybody really aware of me, of my appeareance between them, and realize that I was there together with them...and care about me, but I just see so many fake inside around there....FAKE... Mungkin karena ada yang mao nanya ulangan, basa basi, mungkin juga gw lg jadi anak didiknya, jadi diperatiin karena dibutuhin tenaganya, mungkin juga gw lagi menarik perhatiannya aja,jadi diperhatiin... Eventhough I am not telling that all of them are like that, but mostly people were like that... Did I feel hurt?? I don't think like that. There's too much pain if I must count it one by one..Sure.. It's nothing to be counted...Hahahaha some kind of making laugh right??

I didn't mean to be possessive, but yeah, anything couldn't work f just hang on for short time, even if it won't works in shorter one how can I believe about the long one? I tried not to think like that but if this happen for many times I could think what happen with this? I tried not to said that they're wrond and I was he right side, but I've thought for many times about myself, there's nothing I can't do anymore, if I can't be accepted by them, so what should I do? Should I be the same to be accepted? Didn't Christ said that never you be the same with this world??? Should I be someone that I never know by myself just for a reason like that??Sigh~ If I will be always the wrong side??

From a long time ago, I'll always to be independent, there's no one can take control of it. I tried not to thrust anyone just by myself... I'll asked you a simple question. If you are going to be murdered, then you'll be released if you told them about your friends simple secret, do you will hold on not to told the secret? I don't think so.And I think as easy like that...People are forget about promises...

I'm not keep on telling about others, others and other... Now I'm just trying to hang on by myself.. Sigh~ Even I will not leave them I would face it with a smile, even I kept on pains inside. I didn't mean not to be honest, but sometimes, we don't have to show if we are getting sad or any else, just keep it yourself...