Seems.. this is the one I could do... maybe for 5 years ahead..

The biggest mistake I ever made, is because I can't do anything right now to make it better... whenever everything is gonna ruin, I still stand in my place, and looking at it down, sinking, slowly... and I can't do anything else beside I see...

Yeah, question again... why?

Am I mature enough to stand on my own? The answer is NO...

Can I live in the outside world by my own? The answer is NO, you can't..

Do I have any job to hang on? The answer is NO..

Could I build my own house, and start to stepping on my new life..? The answer is NO...

Am I ready facing outside world..? The answer is NO...

The most important thing... Can I refuse this fact, that I had THOSE blood inside mine..? And the answer is NO, I can't...

So it's clear now... there's no reason for me, to get out from here right now...even if I hate them, means myself too... one day, I seems have any potential to be like that!!...

And I saw everything is getting worse.. what does she said is TRUE... because now, I can't do anything to get out from here... if I can, maybe it's different... at least.. I can help even a little.. but looking at me right now... T_T there's no way I can help.. everything is getting worse and I prefer not to mind about this, and in the other side she is the one who handle this alone.. without me, and my brothers... can I? Forget it, just like I always say I wanna go early and back home lately.. but there's no way to forget actually... Back in there.. in here.. again and again... I just thought even can I handle one year ahead...?? Once, when I was 15, I really wished for getting better... but 3 years had passed, and now.. it isn't getting better at all..